All that He holds in store

My heart and mind are full of things to share with you, but if I put them all in this post it would take you days to read. So, I will just tell you some of the things God has been speaking to my heart lately. There have been and continue to be some big changes in the life of our family recently--some really good, some not good at all, and most of them very unexpected. While sorting through my emotions and asking God to help me walk by faith through uncertainty and change, I have realized some things.

I have prayed for so long to God for His purposes to be accomplished and His will to be done in my life and the life of our family. I have prayed for wisdom, I have prayed for grace, and I have prayed for forgiveness for the many times I have stumbled or failed. I can remember many times over the last few months singing at the top of my lungs the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, "All that you hold in store is all that I want O, Lord." So, as I struggle and wrestle with the difficult, painful, and uncertain circumstances in my life, I think: How many times have I told the Lord that I wanted all He had in store, and then when the first unexpected or unwanted thing happens to me, I struggle to trust Him in the midst of it?

How many times have we all asked for God's purposes, His will, His plan and not really meant it? Do we want all that He holds in store, really?

What if He asks us to give up our material possessions, to scale back our lifestyles to the bare minimum so that we can use our resources to meet needs and spread the Gospel across the world?

What if He asks us to step out in faith and give sacrificially to an orphanage, to a widow in our neighborhood in need, to a family called to adopt a child with no resources to do so, to a brother in Christ who has lost his job?

What if He asks us to quit our job and take one that pays less so that we can spend more time capturing our children's hearts and showing them what it means to be followers of Jesus Christ?

What if He asks us to walk through grief and pain in order to refine our faith and learn to live for what is eternal?

What if we lose all of the things upon which we have based our self-worth and so-called "security"--a good job, a position in our church, relationships in our community, a savings account with a large balance a hefty 401K, etc.--so that we may learn to live day by day trusting only in Him for our security and worth?

What if He calls us to adopt a child from a different country or out of foster care, with special needs, of a different race, from painful circumstances, or even more than one child from a sibling group?

What if He calls us to go where homeless and hurting people live and get to know them, love them where they are, serve them?

I can tell you that the last couple of years have been both the best and the most difficult for our family. We are seeking God's face as we desire to live wanting all that God holds in store, in every circumstance; because we realize that the reason we were put on this earth was to display and proclaim His glory wherever we are and to the ends of the earth. Period. Everything else is secondary. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't stomp and scream like a child some days when things are really tough. I have conversations with God many days about the timing of certain things we have faced and the lack of understanding I have regarding some of the circumstances and pain we have seen our loved ones experience.

I know this is a journey, and I have just crossed the starting line.  But I can't tell you how wonderful it is and how grateful I am that God has opened my eyes to see some of His glory and opened my heart to love people more. I am thankful that He uses imperfect, messy, and broken people, because I certainly am all of those things. My prayer is that something He has done for our family will encourage you to seek His face, honestly say you want ALL that HE holds in store, and walk that out in obedience when He tells you or shows you what He has for you.

Please keep praying for our family and for Anderson. Our hearing date is set for August 25th in Bangkok! Praise God! More details to come.

Grace, Peace, and much Love,
Casey